It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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