He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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