i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
