how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
