so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
