its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
