Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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