I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
