Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
