I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
