So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
