my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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