I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
