Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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