The maid of honor just puked.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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