:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
