I think I just saw someone hide a body.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
