erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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