I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
