Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
