I think I am morally bankrupt
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
