fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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