found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
