Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
