She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
