Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
