I need help removing her.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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