Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
