There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
