You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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