the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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