sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
