You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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