how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
