never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
