Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
