I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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