That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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