Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
a search helicopter?!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
