so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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