Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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