my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
