She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
