its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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