id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
