After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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