i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
