we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
