IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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