Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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