i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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