If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
