My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pants are for mortals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
