they need to just BURY HIM!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
