Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
